I Just need to talk for a minute....

Sometimes i get so caught up in my day to day actions that i forget to step back and look at the big picture... I have an abundance of wonderful people in my life, most of whom i feel like i am never available for because of the amount of ongoings... Let me set the scene a little, I have this horrible cold, i feel like i am melting down half the time, my eyes are leaking, my nose is leaking, and someone is pressing a hot iron to my chest.... I am at work like this because my wonderful sons teacher has asked me to take monday off work and go on the school field trip and chaperone... So i cant call in sick and take a day off and still manage to get everything done that needs to be done... Im supposed to help some friends in the evening and i can already tell im going to nix that... I am good at that... I have the kind of relationship with people that if i cant do something i cant, and they know i will tell them, and that is what makes them feel good about asking me for help because they know when i say yes it is an honest answer of yes, i can and would love to help them, or be with them, or spend time with them. So i am at my desk at around 11 am with about six people waiting to speak to me, and my phone rings... I recognize it to be an Idaho area code and answer asking the people to please wait... On the line is one of my closest friends mother, This said friend works at the same place as i do, and the mother (whom i also am close too) tells me that Her Husband (Kim's Father) has just passed away (this is unexpected) She tells me she does not want to call her daughter and have to tell her over the phone and would i please go be with kim and tell her the sad news and make sure she is okay. With tears in my eyes i ofcourse agree to do so, and i stop the six people at my desk, telling them there is something urgent to take care of and i go to Kims desk in the next building over. I get her and her belongings.... With tears in my eyes, not saying anything to her, but asking her to come with me (she thinks i am firing her, or something is wrong with one of my kids and that i need her support, or anything else other than what i am about to tell her) I get her in my car, and i drive out of the parking lot, as soon as i am out of work boundaries.. I just say it. "Kim, your dad passed away in his sleep this morning" No preemptive comments, No shallow sentances about better places, or things happen for a reason, or any of the things people say to try to soften blows like this, I have lost many people in my life. Too many, and I know that moment is always sketched in your mind, and sometimes the bitterness of the loss is tranposed into those words, and you get angry at God if you are told that God called him home. And i watch this girl, whom i love, go through quick stages of shock, dismay, fury, regret and sadness all within a few minutes of time. In these few minutes i am amazed at the human spirit, and body and how it processes energy through it and immediately tries to work through it and do what needs to be done, and i watch her get herself calm enough and set to go to her family in Idaho. And am reaffirmed that life is not about scouts, fieldtrips, graduation, work, bills, spagetti dinners, or anything else... it is about People, amazing people, people i admire, children that i love, and family. That the relationships around these going ons is what we live for and the things we say to people, and the way we act, or touch them will mold them and they in turn mold others... I am really grateful this morning to have been a part of the web weaved in this family, that i was thought highly enough to be called to deliver such a message, and i am loved enough by that friend that i could be of comfort to her, and that when i feel like i am being pulled in ten different directs in the weaving of lives that the big picture is i am a part of this, i am alive. I am a part of a bigger scheme, and whereever i am heading in my life or what my grand plans are, you never know, nothing is ever guaranteed, and each morning i wake up, and i have been kind, i am part of the real grand scheme...... I am going to work now- with this awful cold, With my eyes and nose leaking, and my chest burning, and I am glad to do it. Because sometimes, life isnt guaranteed.