Summer... Sideways... Changes... Cuteness... All rolled into one

Lets start this post like every other post I have ever written.... OH MY! I can not believe how much time has passed since I updated... Ive been so busy... Had nothing to say... blah blah and so forth... Okay, Thats out of the way.... Look! Im wearing a crown!
Ha ha! Okay really I have nothing to say about this first picture...

But get quickly distracted by image number two... That would be my cute kids... surrounded by other cute kids.... and someday I will have to address our changing family dynamics... but not today.... I love them all. Little man graduated the six grade... it was his last day in little halls, and little desks... I mightve cried in the parking lot for a bit... but got over it quickly...

We quickly turn tears into celebration... Sideways celebration apparently... You may recognize a few cousins in the huge mouth!

Soooo Yeah... The is totally gratutious... He used to spend hours doing this in a superman cape... LOL

Oh yeah... He is hugging the water... So excited for summer.

TV watching...

Scouts!!! Teehee! He is ranking it up!!!
And silliness... Ha ha! I LOVE HIM!!!

Okay... For those of you who were not distracted by the numerous pictures... We are good, I LOVE my children... I am proud of them every single day... We are all adjusting to lifes little twists and turns... and accepting new challenges... and people... There are new things happening in our life... and I will share them when I can... Love you all!

My Little Violist...

Johnathon had his very first concert... Posting a few pictures... Not really in the mood to update anything else.. but he is doing well, I even snuck a pic of myself in down at the bottom... I might be really super proud of my little man

Look at this monkey suit!!! Oh my hell... I dont think he could be any cuter

(Good and Bad) The Nightmares... The Dreams... and Weird Al Yankovic

Ha Ha! I have a little secret... Sometimes, I get sad... I cry for days, and face challenges ... Sometimes I feel like, I struggle too much... Constantly it seems to do the right thing, and stay afloat, and Yes, I tend to shut out the world, and not talk, and mentally check out... My version of curling up in a fetal position and drooling... But I have a confession before you feel too empathetic, sympathetic... or pathetic for me.... The Confession? While I don't enjoy these things.. that would be a lie... I do enjoy the lessons learned, and the experience i get, and the strength I am rewarded with... If you think for one second that each thing my little family goes through is not rewarded with a blessing twice its size, your crazy... and if you think that I would rather go through life, not experiences these extreme things (Good and Bad) and not feel things to the depth that I do... your crazy... I cant imagine not knowing the people I have in my life (Good and Bad) ... and feeling about each of them the way I do (Good and Bad)... I cant imagine for one second not getting to see everything I have seen (Good and Bad)... and be everywhere I have been (Good and Bad)... and held every hand through every experience I have been fortunate enough to hold... I don't want to have time to watch TV, Sleep through a night without waking up and screaming from the nightmares.... Because along with those nightmares... the really famous ones that I race out of bed from and wake up mid sprint to fall on the floor... (LOL oh it happens) because I also have Good Dreams... Amazing dreams, of friends, and families, and people that I love... I love and am loved so much sometimes its amazing.... Today I was blessed enough to have those dreams in the wee hours of the morning... Lots of them... The good kind... And in the middle of a million different crisis... I am ridiculously happy... Don't get me wrong, I haven't made it through a day yet without tears... But I haven't made it through a day without laughing either... I Love you guys... Just thought you should know....

OH! And! I also thought you should know that Weird Al Yankovic Tweeted this morning... ROTFLMAO! Yep! it happened, he is skiing in Deer Valley this weekend LOL! Random!

Remember my goal to update and post more???

Well... here... let these pictures distract you from my obvious failure

What you've been missing... What I've been missing...

Lets start with Halloween... because that is the order the pictures loaded up in... IM sure Heather will kill me for posting this.. but really? she sent it to me... what did she expect!! LOL she and her friends dressed up and did Karioke *SP* for Halloween... Yes my friends.. she is 21.. watch out...

Johnathon and I met up with Michelle and her kids to go trick or treating in the torrential downpour ... They are SOOOO Cute together...

ROTFLMAO! I couldnt resist posting this picture... Before you feel too bad for lil Jimmy, look at the smile on his face... Even with this terrifying costume... Johnathon is not too scary.

Here he is letting this beautiful girl wear the mask.. They are so cute together

Crazy hair day at school for red ribbon week brought out his funky style

We have been coming up with other activitys to keep warm... here is another rainy day, spent at hollywood connections... Shawn and Johnathon Miniature Golfed...

Rollerskated... (Fell alot...)

Sister came too!!!!

And played in the arcade.... So much fun

Okay... Thats the run down of what you have been missing... its been a couple months since i posted.. so there is alot more missed than worth mentioning... I moved... Oh yeah, i did that... I threw away everything i owned and started my life over... Johnathon and I, along with a black cat and the HUGE dog moved into an apartment.. I have never lived in an apartment before, but it makes sense for my little family... On one hand its really good to go... leave everything that carries all the memories... on the other hand, its hard to be somewhere with no roots... although im quickly trying to make some. In the next few weeks i will be putting up Holiday decorations (Very scaled down holiday decorations) and i have this overwhelming sense of insecurity... Fear is more like it... Of how i am feeling, what i am doing... where i want to be... Nothing feels familiar, nothing feels comfortable... I keep myself so busy, and on such a tight leash emotionally... to make sure i dont drift, that i havent drifted at all... I havent painted... i havent played music.. i havent written... I am missing a cigarette.. and large goblet of wine... some stirring music.. and fingers and nails encrusted in paint.. creativity, pain, fear, hope, happiness.. anything... Thats what i am missing... I will start here.. and try to keep this updated, it makes me feel more like a person, less of a machine, and see how far i get... Love love love

A Lil' Staycation... and a list of demands

Johnathon went on his summer visitation with his dad... man that was a rocky two weeks... I kept telling him that we would make up for our time apart, and even though we couldnt afford to leave town.. that we would vacation together at home, and we would pretend we were visiting our home from another state... and his job was to come up with a list of things he would like to do on our vacation....
First on the list- Sister
He missed his pets and his sister sooo much, that was day number one, a day at home with a dinner party to celebrate

The following morning he couldnt wait to show off his newly aquired cooking skills that he picked up from his dad... he made scrambled eggs, it was delicious

Then the tour of our own state began... here we are in library square down town... it was such a fun day playing tourist... looking at all the fountains, and sculptures and paintings....

We drank italian sodas and ate ice cream... yum!!

Sat on the roof top garden... and watched some bee keeping ...

Read some books in the librarys cool crystal cave

I think the water is his favorite thing no matter where we go... he finds it

Next on the list was a picnic with betty... it is waaayyy too hot to do this for lunch... so we made it an early morning breakfast picnice at the parkThere is my betty... playing with him on the play ground

Sliding with him on the slide...

And ofcourse swinging with him on the swings

Here she is teaching him how to make jacobs ladder, and the witches broom...

Next we headed up to park city.... to the olympic park!!

He loved the bobsleds

and watching the ski jumps into the pool

This is his face at the bottom of the ski lft

This is how high up went!!!

He is starting to look alot more concerned... as he should... because we took the zip line down... LOL it was a total blast... here let me see if i can get the video to attach!!!

Into the Museum next!!

Virtual Skiing

And ofcourse the HUGE sign outside... Yes, thats the lil man standing at the bottom, looks like an ant!!!

Last but not least was his day in the sun at the waterslide.... OH MY five hours and several applications of sunblock later... he is tucked bed sound asleep at a very early hour

He has so much fun.. and went down all the slides a million times....

Its SOOOO Good to have him home!!!